Friday, May 14, 2004

Wish Upon a Flying Car

Speeding down a freeway at 100 mph, you look into your rear view mirror and see those dreaded lights. Yeah, the red and blue ones. You know they're coming for you. Though, they don't seem to be catching up any. So you change lanes (with appropriate turn signals) and slow down to 85 mph. Then you finish crossing four lanes of traffic so you can pull off to the right side of the road.

Your passenger? Yeah, he's a little stoned. Well, more so than you. And those two margaritas? Probably wouldn't go over well with the officer seeing as how your under the legal drinking age. So don't fight. Just pull out your liscence and registration before the officer gets a chance to come up to the window.

When she asks you if you have "any idea how fast you were going?!" Reply with a meek "About 100" and just stare. Quietly hand over the liscense and registration and find your proof of insurance while she lectures you on the fact that you could be going to jail for reckless driving. Fight the nausea. Hand over the insurance card. Laugh at your friends white face and calmly say "Well, there's a first for everything I guess." And start a conversation while you wait.

When she comes back and says she only wrote the ticket for 20 over the speed limit, look grateful. Fight the laughter when she tells you that she almost pee'd herself when you flew by at 100. Deny that you will fight the ticket in court because you're not THAT insane. Agree to drive the speed limit on the way home. Roll up the windows. Put things back where they go. Pull back into traffic.

Look at the passenger and sigh in relief because she could have tested you for drugs and alcohol and you really would have been spending the night in jail. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. And that? Yeah, it wouldn't have gone over very well with your parents at all.

It's bad enough you have to pay a ticket and go to a driving class to save your license. Being bailed out of jail would have sent you straight to LectureLand for the next 4 years. Not to mention you'd probably have to pay them the bail money back....

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