Colorful Void
Sometimes I feel like I'm sitting in some sort of void. Something is sucking out the joy in me. I watch as colors and people pass by, but I don't much care. Sure I have moments where I can think of nothing other than how happy I am. They're getting fewer and fewer though.The older I get the less I seem to laugh.
I have to do things to make others laugh now before I can consider it. I have to see others having a good time at my expense before my brain feels that it's ok to enjoy the life around me. I've always known that my life isn't the worst out there. I also knew, though, that it was far from the best. That's my downfall. I don't know where exactly I am. That always drives me up a wall.
Mr Q (David/Anthony) and I are trying to have a better marriage, but it's so much of an uphill battle I sometimes just want to lay down and roll back to the bottom. I don't. Mostly because I'm curious as to if I can even make it to the top. Not to mention the curiosity of what it's like to be up there and how far I can see from that vantage point.
Not that I make much sense. Pardon my madness- I'm writing on only a few hours sleep.
posted by Skitz @ 6/14/2005 02:49:00 AM
4 Comments:
Lots of life is an uphill battle. That's one of the things they never clue you into growing up. But you fight...you get exhausted...but you make it. I'm sure you will too :-)
I know the dark times in the sludge are hard. I care about you and don't want you to give in to the dark. Keep climbing, m'lady!
LOVE LOVE LOVE,
LOVE LOVE LOVE,
LOVE LOVE LOVE,
LOVE is all you need!
Not really, but you get the point.
you said you liked comments!
I think that small dogs are better than big dogs.
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