Wednesday, June 02, 2004

How to Annoy a Skitz

1- Complain non-stop about an ex. Once I've heard the story three times I don't want to hear it again. If you must tell me how much you miss/love/hate/fear them please do it in a unique way. Otherwise I may be forced to commit homicide out of shear boredom.

2- Think you are better than everyone. No one is perfect. If they were they would be considered an outcast anyhow. Therefore, you are not perfect. You have some undeniable flaw in character/personality/looks. We will find out about it. We have some ourselves. You are NOT better than everyone. You just excell in the areas of arrogance and egotism.

3- Complain of being fat when you have under 10% body fat. It is NOT cute when you say you're fat. It is annoying. Especially to those of us who really are fat. You can start complaining once you reach any where close to what I weigh. Otherwise? Shut the hell up.

4- Throw a fit or "disappear" to see if you can get any attention. If you want attention join a conversation, say something stupid, trip over yourself, or do something else that does not require people to stop other conversations just to calm or hunt you down. This also is not a cute thing. This may also lead to someone dying. Painfully. When I run them over repeatedly with my car.

5- Don't tell me when you're angry with me. I am not psychic. I cannot just TELL when you are angry. Especially if you're not around. Give me a chance to defend myself over whatever pissed you off. Under normal circumstances there will have been a misunderstanding that lead to your anger. I'd like to clear it up so I can get rid of some of the tension. Please do not run me over with YOUR car before you tell me you're angry. Please?

6- Promise to do something that is very important... and "forget" you said you would. This will lead to resentment and lack of trust. It was something IMPORTANT. That means I was really placing a lot of hope you would follow through with it. Which means, when you don't follow through, you've made me doubt myself. I do not deal well with self-doubt. I have enough of that without you helping.

7- Lie to my face when I ask you about something; then, when I find out you lied, don't appologize. I specifically asked you a question. And you out and out lied. Then you let the truth slip out. And you laughed. Last time I checked, laughter was not a form of appology. Candy, flowers, cards, love letters, the words "I'm sorry", jewlery, and giant stuffed animals have been known to be used for appologies. But not laughter.